You've Got This!
Last week the calendar marked a national day that I would guess many may not have noted or celebrated in any particular way. National Day of Encouragement is observed annually on September 12, as a day dedicated to uplifting those around us and making a positive impact on their lives. Who are the givers and who are the receivers in this all important act of encouraging? Co-workers, peers, colleagues; avid supporters, collaborative partners, or even a "to be watched" nemesis.
Encouragement can mean different things to different people, depending on your life's career and choices. If you are a parent, a teacher, coach, teammate, being encouraging is so important and we find that we cheer, we guide, we even nudge to keep those around us going; most specifically, the children. Still if we look closely do we encourage as much as we should or do we assume we are by the very nature of those relationships and the expectations? Do we encourage as much as we point out what went wrong, what they should do or have done, that mistake they made, giving a lukewarm, well at least you tried?
These National Calendar Days are sometimes fun to note and even more fun to set aside some time and observe; but, there are those that strike a chord and make us pause thinking, shouldn't this be every day? Am I that far removed from doing this? Does it take seeing it on a calendar, in this busy life, to get us to do something we really should be making a habit.
I teach and I sometimes think I get caught up in a way looking at things in a more simple, break them apart way, that to others around, they think well with children, yeah that works. I am grateful that I have that, because I truly believe in the end seeing it in a child's world, that getting along in the sandbox philosophy isn't so childish and maybe if we let that out now and again it might actually make a difference. We might not hold back on those acts or words of encouragement to others.
Commercials can sometimes bring more to the viewer than ever intended. The Haribo Gummy Bear commercial; conference room, a bag of gummies and adults speaking, dubbed over in children's voices, talking about the gummies in such an excited and joyful way. What if you actually started a meeting like that or gave a break in an all day training session to let that scene unfold? I hear the gasps and I can see the eye rolls; but give me a chance. Think about the release of stress and angst and frustration or even boredom that those few moments offer. What those few minutes of laughs could mean. What is the biggest fear of letting go for a moment or two? You may get back into the work a little bit lighter and even better things might unfold!
Encouragement isn't always about the work. Encouragement can be, let your hair down and laugh, smile, it's ok not to be serious for a moment. You need to cry to release what you've bottled up trying to get through that project, then cry. You want to kick up your heels and high five everyone in the room because you finally achieved what you set out to do; then jump up, and slap those high fives, even to that one standing over there rolling his eyes. Oh, he's judging, most likely, but he's really thinking, man, I wish I could get up the nerve to do that when I felt it. Hey, guy over there, why can't you? Go ahead, what's the worst that can happen, you might feel a little lighter, you might even break into a smile?
Who am I to encourage that and possibly cause chaos in your workplace? I am just somebody who has traveled the road and let that jump and high fives out to pull them back in and bury them because of what other people would think. I hope I'm right when I say I'm at a point in my life where I'm going to high five all I want, I'm gonna bring the Gummy Bears or Laffy Taffy or whatever will give bring a smile or a little laughter to a meeting! I may bring a moment of what some will deem as chaos, but again, I'm at the point, where I don't think its chaos, or irresponsible or disrespectful.
So we can encourage to do a great job, get the job done, achieve, be proud and all of it. But can we also take the time to encourage each other and support each other that it's ok to be human and feel and express that. The best encouragement we can give each other is to accept and say be who you need to be, if it works for you, then it works for me.
The non-work stuff is just as important. Do we really need encouragement for that? Yes we do! Just like we bottle up our ideas and talents sometimes, we get stuck in the work; we bottle up feelings and what we have to say, we get stuck in our life's journey. So yes, be that safety for someone, let them know it's ok to talk about it, get it out, figure it out, dare to think of change, or to take a risk. That they can be themselves in all they do; think of the energy that could be used in so many different places and ways if we didn't have to be someone we are not; if just someone would give us that little dose or word of encouragement.
Let encouragement beget kindness which begets compassion and let all else fall in place after that. If we work with who people are, then we uplift them, we let them know do what you need to and that encouragement can lead to many great things! We talk about not fitting children into a mold in school, recognize they learn in different ways; why does it stop there? Why can't we recognize we all get things done in our own way; and maybe if we did that more often the results would even be better than expected!
Do we all need encouragement? Yes, we do; I don't believe the person who says, I don't need to hear it, see it; I don't need others to get me started or to keep me going. Yeah, you do! You know deep down inside, your eyes are searching the room or looking for the text or the email. Just like that child sitting in that desk doing her work, the one who always stays on task, always does her best; her eyes are searching, she's waiting and that one second it takes, that looks great I can't wait to see it finished, or I like the way you did that; she could go set the world on fire because you paid attention and you let her know. It's not a sign of weakness! It's the realization of the need to connect and to know what you are doing or how you are feeling is seen by others and acknowledged. I'll compromise on that, if you can stand on you don't need it, I'll give you that, and I'll just say you merely want it. We all do in some way.
Could we do it without encouragement? Yes I guess most of us could, can; but, what wasted moments! See we underestimate the importance of human connection, relationships sometimes, we think what does it matter, who cares. Well it does matter and people do care! It could turn someone's life around, if you take the time. Grownups, should we not expect it anymore, we aren't children? No we aren't, but yes we want it and we should freely give those words and acts of encouragement.
Don't doubt the power of it. Don't give it the lip service of that's their job, or they wanted to do it, why do I have to bother. It doesn't matter if that's their job or they took on something bigger than themselves; don't use those diminishing words; it's no big deal, no one will care any way, no one will notice, your choice. Show them yes someone does care, someone wants to hear all about it, someone wants to see the end product, someone wants to know the process, someone wants to toast the results! Be louder than the naysayers with your encouragement! You just might find in encouraging others, you inspire yourself too!
Let's see if we can start. Start today, a week of encouragement that grows into months and spreads out in a year; to the point where it's as easy as pointing out what didn't go right. Instead of saying stop that silliness to encouraging by joining in. If you are a parent you know those moments of they didn't just do that, they didn't just say that...or teachers, those things that you know that will drive you up a wall sometimes, but will make that kiddo one heck of a CEO or famed actor someday...I'm not talking about letting disrespectful things get by, I'm talking about those truths, those harmless funny things, children say or do; embrace them and work with them, join in if you can, you may turn around a day or a life in that one moment!
Make a vow to be deliberate about your acts of encouragement; from a simple high five, great job to reassure, cheering on, and inspiring those around you. What about someone who is close to reaching a goal they have struggled with, be the catalyst to keep them going. Don't hold back on noticing what someone around you has achieved. Even take a bag of gummies to your next meeting. Encouraging a pause to laugh, now that's encouragement that can go a long way! Whatever you choose to do to encourage just let someone in your life know, "it's your story, I'm behind you, you've got this!".
